I dont know what to write
and i dont know what to say
tiredness just sweeps me away
on a sand coloured ocean
in a bottle-necked bay
where i dont know what troubles you
on a trouble-less day
and i always think i can handle
what your words can say
when i try and talk to you
after wonder has passed away
so i protest
protest for my life
i protest for the words i wanted to say
for the love i gave away
in a forgotten month
on a forgotten day
but hey
(thanks for the chance anyway)
©2006-2009 ~sagebirt
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Submitted: March 14, 2006
File Size: 705 bytes
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Comments: 3
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Total: 627
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Submitted: March 14, 2006
File Size: 705 bytes
Image Size: 0 bytes
Resolution: 0×0
Comments: 3
Favourites & Collections: 0
Views
Total: 627
Today: 0
Downloads
Total: 65
Today: 0
Thumb
Author's Comments
i was reading somewhere about relationships that have gone past the year or so mark and how they tend to fizzle out apprently this is due to the death of wonder in the relationship i just put my own reaction to this idea in the poem
hope you like
and agree
hope you like
and agree
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Comments
To keep the reader interested throughout the entire poem, try changing your rhyming scheme every once in a while. In this particular poem the constant "ay" ending the sentence distracts the focus away from the meaning of the poem and into how repetitive it sounds. I like the poem though. Keep up the good work.
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This may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to. - Tool
S.F.M., I'll wait for you.
--
If i meet a pretty lady then there is only one thing i would say to her
i have a 9 inch tongue and i can breath through my ears!
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Beautiful things happen naturally
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